Dhaka Mixed Hash

Trash, Run No. 1338            28th April 2007

Hares: Camel Jockey, Deportee, No Balls & Motalib

Location:  Just up the road and right a bit from Little Italy

Hash Stats:  7k, 72 minutes, 44 hashers.

Following a timely foregathering at Little Italy we were asked to convoy just a bit up the road – about 10 minutes or so.  A somewhat stunned lorry driver had to sit in the middle of the road and watched in awe as a significant stream of Chelsea Tractors and lesser but equally shiny Japanese junk turned across his bows and threaded its way down a narrow lane to the On-In.  The fact that the meeting time was half an hour ahead of the run allowed us to start promptly at 17.00 following a brief briefing by the Hares.

First paper was across the road and off through the bamboo to the east, led on by Challenger.  The first check was shortly after we emerged into apparently endless paddy, all being harvested.  From here I have the distinct feeling that it was me ‘n’ Bozo who found the way along the cart track and across open grassland to Check 2 just on the edge of a village.  I’ve no idea who found paper from here but it certainly wasn’t me as I headed off in completely the wrong direction and only caught up with the pack at the next check.  One point of note here, and I’m sure it had nothing to do with the amount of ale I consumed at the previous night’s AGM, was the proliferation of purple geese, or at least goslings.  Goodness knows why but the poor fluffy little beasts were daubed all over with purple dye.

From here the trail, headed out into the shiggy, selecting the drier bits for most of the run but after a couple of checks making us all plough through prime soggy paddy.  Well, all except Blowpipe and Can’t Pull who were seen gently walking along the nice dry grass on the edge of the village despite cries and whistles from the pack to get their idle arses over here.  Drama and chivalry intervened at this stage (not that I saw it but heard from a reliable source).  Liz managed to step into a bit of the shiggy that was shiggier than the rest of the shiggy and lost a shoe.  Stepping back to address the situation, she managed to lose the second shoe in the same spot.  Beaufort dashed in to the rescue, at which point the reports become a little confused.  Some said he offered her a pull and she accepted.  Whatever, he still had a big smile on his face by the time he reached the next check!

There was only one way back from here and that was back through the bamboo.  The pack set off along the various trails, finding a couple of check and missing a few.  A bunch of us – Geli, Bozo, Can’t Pull & Lisa – found ourselves a little lost but in earshot of the pack.  Most of the time I was on paper but occasionally not.  Anyway, all arrived back safely shortly after 18.00 and the Grand Mattress called the circle to order pretty smartly.

She raved on for a bit about how good the run had been.  Sure enough it was a nice area and a good On-In site and worthy of the praise.  She then awarded down-downs to:

A brief debate between GM and RA ensued as to whether Old Fart was a returnee, visitor or leaver.  I’m not sure what the conclusion was, or whether he’s the Leaver to Thai and Malaysia that I have in my notes.

The GM, exhausted by the effort, called in RA Bozo to continue the proceedings.  To be honest I haven’t a f***ing clue what he was on about for the first five minutes.  He dobbed in Crusty Lobster, Can’t Pull and Foreskin claiming they had been elected to various committee posts the previous evening and then called in those who had been really elected – those worthy of voting rights and those non-worthy being appropriately separated.  Half those elected with voting rights hadn’t turned up, so it was a good start to the year.

We then had the privilege of re-living Liz’s shoeless trauma before she and shining night in ardour, Beaufort, had their down-downs.  A cat spat followed, between the private partying Rocks Off and the Grand Mattress, who was attempting to maintain some discipline.  Rocks Off refused to abandon her party so the RA stepped in with a novel solution to the problems from his native north-west England – Cumberland wresting – to settle the issue.  A brief demonstration was required from Old Fart and Bozo before the girls got down to the serious stuff.  The GM emerged victorious, so Rocks Off went back shamefully to continue her interrupted party.  Not sure what sort of a victory it actually was.

Communications Officer Henry was then dobbed in for his attempted communication to the traffic police that his vehicle had “Aplicated for Regitration”.

Given the auspicious event that was to follow the circle, Bozo then asked for all Sri Lankans to step forward.  In order to attract more and to get a true representation of the support to be expected, anyone who had a Sri Lankan Aunty, had been to Sri Lanka, or had even heard of it were called in and a rousing tribute to the soon-to-be-vanquished race of dubious parentage was given.  Aussies were subsequently called in to receive a runners-up down-down.

Finally Bozo called in Old Fart, absent from the previous evening’s celebrations, to receive his reward as winner of the “Most F***ed-Up Run of the Year”.  Co-Hare Fazi was also asked to provide some moral support.  The GM closed the circle with thanks and a down-down to organisers of and contributors to the AGM – Challenger, Geli, Fazi, Camel Jockey and Bozo.

Thanks to the Hares for an excellent run.

On On

Towed