DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1346				23^rd June 2007
Location: Dhaka Old Town
Hares: Can’t Pull, Minty Hole, Horse’s Ass, Middle Stump, Bum Deal & Dickhead			Hashers: 48
Virgins: Subramanian, Basil, Shahriar, Hong, Laura			New Runners: Yap, Steve, Andrew
Returnees: Five Year Old Shit, Tuneless Cow, Dunnee Gone		Leavers: Tuneless Cow, Doug & Ellie
Leaver for Ever: Awl Blick
Main Photo: Can’t Pull – in Control Possibly Rankin Rellies at the end of Rankin Street	The Run Well, what to say? The first thing is that the Hares should have told us to take our bags in the Homebound executive transport. That way I wouldn’t have had to buy 3 beers off LBH (and might have had pencil and paper to record what went on rather than rely on vague recollections). The second is ……..what a f***ing amazing run! I’m not a fan of the urban environment and not a natural sightseeing tourist, but the Hares took us to places even they didn’t know they’d laid paper in. They said it would be different and sure as hell it was. So, to the start at Homebound offices in Gulshan. It was reassuring to travel in pre-arranged transport whose drivers knew where they were going. Just that each bus seemed to go a different way and require a lot of inter-phoning to establish a clear rendezvous. Also good to have a couple of the Hares in the bus who, when the bus finally stopped and we all got out, said “oh, this isn’t where we started.” (acknowledgements to Bum Deal) Billed as the Rankin Street Run, we were amazed to start in Rankin Street itself. I’m not sure how long Middle Stump has been around, but to have a street named after him already is some going. Can’t Pull said it was actually Middle Stump’s Grandad that started it and sure enough, we did see a lot of smiling little faces that bore a striking resemblance to this Hare. The briefing included mis-direction by Horse’s Ass who told us that there was lots of flour laid so we should be able to stay on it no problem. Anyway, once the briefing was completed, we visited: - A duck-less duck pond (I’m sure it had more significance) - Tall Man’s uncle’s house, including Uncle (also LBH toilet check) - The Star Mosque, as featured on the 10 taka note - The residence of many former elected representatives, now known as Dhaka Central Jail - A little Hindu Temple, - The Nawab’s residence – the pink house Markets, bizarres and bazaars of all sorts that we ran through, deafening the locals with cries of On-On, not to mention Geli’s whistle. Oh, and I forgot the old whorehouses (so how come the Hares knew where the old whorehouses were?). I kept an eye open for the aging crones looking to offer some toothless services but to no avail. We ended up at the Armenian Church, the original chapel having been built in 1650 or so, according to the caretaker (or was it 16^th century as in the guide books) – don’t ask me where it is. (apparently Armanitola) - we saw rickshaws - we saw the Rocket - we saw hawkers and hackers (not the IT sort – the ones that spit afterwards) - we saw more rickshaws - we saw the mighty Ganges (well, a river anyway) And there were still some rickshaws to spare after this. After a while, we had slops thrown on us from a great height. Clearly the Scottish influence had not penetrated this far into the Old Town as there was no shout of “Gardyloo”. (For the non-Scots, this is what they used to shout from the upstairs window as they tossed the rubbish into the street. From the French “gardez l’eau”. This quaint habit died out as long ago as 1996 in some parts of Paisley). We even saw an American tourist in a VW campervan just outside the jail. He asked the standard and unanswerable question for Hashers: “where are you going?” – the standard response of “that way” was given, as opposed to the more honest “I don’t f***ing know!” The rule of law was maintained throughout after the Hares appeared to have nicked a traffic policeman’s hard hat which Mintyhole wore to great effect for instructions at the checks (usually from an elevated position on a traffic island or rickshaw). But most of all it was the smells. You’ve heard of aromatherapy, well this was aromahashery. Sights and smells of Asia! The variation was immense, from the usual open sewers through decomposing garbage to curry and incense. We ran past toilets and temples, minarets and markets. Much of the latter half of the run seemed to be indoors (just as well ‘cos it was pissing down for a while). In all fairness, it was an On-Hare run, but in those conditions it had to be. Stray 50 metres off paper and you’d lost all contact with the pack
Horses Ass trying to spot the pack
What a bunch of posers in the wide open spaces at the start
Tall Man’s Uncle, who lives just opposite ….
The Star Mosque (including sweaty Nephew)
Temporary abode of ex-politicians
Geli looks for the paper	The Circle To be honest, after a run like that, who cares about the circle? Stand in GM Geli is OK, but he hasn’t got the tits of the GM, so I’ll be brief. The circle was conducted in a graveyard. There were some virgins from Singapore and Malaysia and possibly Russia. There were three New Runners of which two were driving instruct……….ha ha … ha ha ha ha ……he he… No – I don’t believe it. What’s worse is that they were Brits. If they’d been Aussies then I could have taken it but then……… and someone said they were London taxi guys. Next time you want a cab from the airport to Gulshan, its going to be via Mymensingh, mate, and ain’t it a lovely day and Dhaka’s such a super city thought you’d like to see a bit more and we’ll be there in a minnit, just taking a special shortcut an’ that’ll be 3 lakh, thank you kindly. There were returnees, including Five-Year Old Shit who was a leaver last week. There were leavers – Tuneless Cow and a couple of others There was a slightly sad moment when we said goodbye to All Black, who’s off home to NZ for a break and then Cambodia to earn her living. Minty was particularly downcast at this news. Geli then asked the church curator to give a little briefing on the history which he did admirably, before handing over to the stand-in RA, Five-Year Old Shit. FYOS pulled in LBH for a pee stop, Jerrycan for thinking there’d be beer in the Star Mosque (Star is actually a sort of beer, found in Nigeria), he had the driving instructors back in, and a few others besides, and did a generally more sophisticated job than our regular, beloved RA. For his efforts as stand-in RA he was awarded a down-down, and a second, bigger one, for not f***ing staying away when he’d been a leaver last week. The journey back was long and beerless – probably just as well as it was toiletless as well. Sucker (?) offered a running commentary for the whole trip and provided a guide to Dhaka’s licensed premises, all of which we seemed to pass. As for global warming, I’m with Bush on this as far as the back of a Homebound bus is concerned. Sure as f**k there wasn’t a trace of it there for those of us still in skimpy, sweaty hash gear. No wonder Homebound’s rates are so high when they use refrigerated passenger transport. (Oh, and why wasn’t Can’t Pull down in Chittagong personally trying to locate my shipment which has been “temporarily mislaid”?) Thanks to the Hares for a fascinating and thoroughly enjoyable run, not to mention the T-Shirts. You guys were right – it’s not somewhere I’d choose to visit in the normal course of events! And thanks to stand-in hash Flashes, Middle Stump and Peter who defied All Black’s prediction and sent stuff. On On Towed
Shelter at the Pink House (Tall Man still with the same bird as above!)
The Great River
One of the wider streets with a bit more room to move