DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1349			14^th July 2007
Location: Airport Tits
It all got a bit silly after this!
Hares: Camel Jockey, Dunny Gone, Pradip & Deportee				Hashers: 40
Virgins: None				New Runners: None
Returnees: England 6-Scotland 9, Eva, Tall Man, Shit-Up-To-Here				Leavers: Cloth Balls, Dunny Gone
Caption Competition: What is Can’t Pull looking at? – What is LBH thinking? – Why is Sex Starved looking so pleased to be able to fit into these again? – Why does the (Jamaican) term “Big Pantie Woman” come to mind?
Just to prove that there was a run, the walkers head for the tall grass …	The Run For a number of those who gathered at Airport Tits at 5.30 there was a certain feeling of déjà vu, possibly because the run started in exactly the same place as on Monday. However, after a longish run out through Check 1 along the footpath, the trail turned back along the railway line from Check 2, pretty much to where we’d been checking from Check 1 before we were urgently called back by the Hares. The next few checks saw us running on and off the road through housing and eventually into an open area with much cricket being played (at a better level than in Kandy because here, the Bangladesh team was winning). Eventually paper was called across the far side on the park and soon yet another check was encountered. The trail then proceeded underneath a wall, which was ok for the vertically and horizontally challenged but the rest of us tall fat bastards had to follow the tall fat bastard Hare back almost to the previous check before we hit paper again that led us the long way round. An anxious pack, encouraged by Tall Man and Can’t Pull were champing at the bit to get away and meandering off the check until they were out of earshot of the Hares. Cloth Balls had already called “check it out” anyway, which was good enough for most of us. Eventually we crossed a longish bamboo bridge, much to the entertainment of the locals, and headed off into the tall grass, led rather appropriately by Tall Man. A check on top of a sand hill was followed by an almost circular run via another check to a point within about 50 metres of the said sand hill. Tall Man, Can’t Pull and I seemed to be doing most of the FRB work as we continued west. It was around this point that it started to become fun. Can’t Pull and I had headed off in search of paper, continuing in the obvious direction that the run had to take. Paper was eventually called way off to our left so we began to meander generally in that direction. All of a sudden there was dogs’ abuse being heaped on us by the FAB Hare (expand the acronym yourself, but I know what my choice for the “A” and “B” is). Never have I seen a Hare with such a strop on! Rather reluctantly (and foolishly) we followed orders and trailed after the pack. The Hare’s anxiety was explained when the next check, in a pleasant little garden by the lake, proved to be a back check with trail passing around 50 metres from where we had been. From here, it was wandering through the tall grass, the Hares missing out the penultimate check that Horse’s Arse, Can’t Pull, Tall Man and I dutifully stopped at, and a longish run out to the On-In.
and I think the lady on the bridge is this week’s hash flash
Girls in Pink Knickers!
And they’re off!	The Circle Well, as you will have already gleaned from the pictures (‘cos I know most of you lack the necessary attention span to deal with the words), the circle was conducted in Bozo’s old knickers. Before I wax lyrical about that, though, there were a few formalities that acting GM Geli was obliged to conduct (although sadly, with no photographic record). In the absence of reliable data, it was agreed that the run had been 69km long and taken 69 minutes to run. 39 had turned up for the start, with Homeless eventually making it a round number. Hares were duly called in, although missing the FAB who apparently had to rush off to that well known Antipodean celebration of Bastille Day. So Camel Jockey, Deportee and Pradip were left to take all the blame. However, the Beer Maid hadn’t managed to work out that when the circle was called to order it meant start pouring beers, with the result that the Hares had to endure a further few minutes in the centre before being able to slake their well-deserved thirst. There were no virgins and no new runners so things moved swiftly on to the returnees – Eva, England 6-Scotland 9, Shit-Up-To-Here and Tall Man who had been off shagging in Germany, UK, France, and we think Tall Man said he had been in Sidney. Lucky old Sidney. Talking of which the already Gone Dunny and Cloth Balls were leaving. Cloth Balls is apparently about to experience the delights of economy class travel. To be honest, I’m not surprised he can’t afford business any more if those knickers are a sample of the product. Finally from the GM, a final farewell to Middle Stump who is leaving these shores for good. Off to sunny Scotland. Unfortunately the significantly disorganised RA had forgotten the leavers mug. So on to the sinners. First sinner was Pull It Out who was into blue movies (or once she started jumping up and down, it moved). Trying to camouflage the absolute likeness of the GM with blue marker pen just doesn’t wash. The reward for this sin was to be obliged to step into a pair of Bozo’s fantasy underwear, soon to be joined by a close friend and Dirty Girl. Cloth Balls, Vasily and Camel Jockey were joined together by an equally large pair of green knickers and challenged to race twice round the nearest bush. Apparently Cloth Balls makes this range of sexy undies for the bulk US market. Tall Man and England 6-Scotland 9 were then called in for a new shoes down-down before Homeless was accused of a similar sin. He claimed the shoes were not new – just that it was the first time he’d worn them – but in any case he had subsequently mislaid them. On being threatened with drinking from the footwear of a willing volunteer, Homeless rapidly rediscovered his footwear and both of them managed a down-down. Having castigated me for only giving him one beer last Friday, the RA hauled in the unfortunate Geli for giving him too much this Friday, hence the utterly confused state in which he found himself this Saturday. Sex Starved, LBH, Five-Year-Old-Shit and I were also to blame, but for different reasons that were never explained, so we all were provided with the panties and a pot. Hashus Interruptus was a non-declared returnee. No-one asked her where she’d been, as far as I can recall. Having run out of knickers, the RA was obliged to hand back to Geli for closing proceedings. Next week’s run is at Thomson’s End at 17.00, or at least so the Hare, Horse’s Arse reckoned. On On Towed
Homeless’s proxy footwear
The Confusers
Returnee Hashus Interruptus
Sartorial inelegance
	A final note of extreme sadness. Foxy Runner passed away very unexpectedly on Monday morning. I barely knew him, but he was a stalwart of the hash, loved Bangladesh and could certainly run the pants off me. I’m sure that more will be said on Saturday, but in the meantime I’m sure you will all join me in expressing the deepest sympathy with his family and loved ones. Towed