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DHAKA MIXED
HASH – RUN NO 1350 |
21st
July 2007 |
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Location: Thompson’s End |
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Happy Soggy
Hares |
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Hares: Horse’s
Arse, Dirty Girl & Bum Deal |
Hashers: 39 |
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Virgins: Annie
Rose |
Returnees: Warm & Fluffy, Syphie, Webfart & |
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Leavers: Bozo, Five-Year-Old-Shit, Homeless & |
Final
farewell: Sex Starved in Srimongal |
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Milestones: Five-Year-Old-Shit – 25 runs, Can’t Pull –
225 runs; Chicken F***er – 250 runs |
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Chicken F***er gets his leg over |
The Run First,
I never did thank Jimmy for sending through the photos for last week’s trash,
so “Thanks, Jimmy”. The
day started out overcast and went downhill from there. The beautiful new and wide road at
Thompson’s End provided ample accommodation for the chariots of what was a
pretty good turnout of 39 Hashers, given the likely weather. No-one wanted to be GM so everyone milled
around for a while until Webfart was finally pinned down to get things
going. Whatever treatment he received
for his various ills during his absence, there was certainly a further tweak
of the volume control knob involved. Anyway
the Hares soon explained what was going on and we set off westwards,
following the asphalt road for a while through Check One, which was
effectively a one-way check, before eventually diving off to the right in
amongst the housing and through soggy fields to the second check. Front running up to this point had been
undertaken by the usual suspects – Warm & Fluffy, Geli, Tall Man, Can’t
Pull and me, but after this I’ve no idea what happened as I was led astray
along a falsie by Deportee. A bit
more road work followed until we got onto some nice muddy paths and a less
urban environment. The trail twisted
and turned so much that I totally lost track of which direction we were
heading in. The trails, however, were
marvellous, splashing through mud and puddles and around lakes that hadn’t
been there a couple of days before, according to the Hares. Eventually
we came back to another check on a road before meandering off again on dirt
trails and tracks. The Hares did a
pretty good job of keeping everyone together and moving things along
quickly. I’m not sure whether the
checks were all on the same road or whether we were taking dirt trails
between different roads, but all the checks seemed to be on or near asphalt
and all the running on dirt. After
a bit more street running we emerged into fields and then in a wide open area
where we had to head around a lake to a check in a soggy field. Here, Can’t Pull and Tall Man got
seriously juvenile playing in the puddles before we headed off through the
village and to yet another check on asphalt.
Within 50 metres we were back on the dirt and I found myself heading
into the local dunny having missed the real trail turning off to the right. More running on mud and dirt through
villages brought us to a check in someone’s yard adjacent to the sand
pipes. At this point it was noted
that the back Hare was missing.
Looking out across that sand and football games to the road we spotted
a red T-shirt and a no-shirt sneaking along the road. What the hell were Dirty Girl and LBH up
to? “Check it Out” was quickly called
and we all headed off to find out. In
their enthusiasm to catch the two miscreants the FRBs managed to miss the
turn off the sand, but were quickly re-directed by the remaining Hare and a
bit of lane-and-road running brought us out at the last check by, surprise,
surprise, another lake! From here the
beer was visible and it was simply a matter of finding our way to it buy the
shortest possible route. It
was probably only at this point that I realised it was raining. Not sure when it started, but I was
beginning to get seriously wet. |
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Definitely not urban |
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Even less urban |
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A happy-looking Sex Starved emerges from
the bushes with an exhausted looking Syphie |
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Virgin Annie Rose |
The Circle By
the time the circle was formed it was seriously pissing down, and umbrellas
seemed to be the order of the day. I
have to confess to being unable to hold an umbrella in one hand, a beer in
the other and take notes which involves a level of multi-tasking that
not even women are capable of, so I gave up on the notes and umbrella and
held my beer in both hands. The net
result is that all of this is from memory.
I did, however, take the bloke’s way out and tell a woman to take
pictures of everything instead. WebFart
called things to order pretty quickly and the Hares into the middle to take
their punishment. So anxious was the
circle to get out of the weather that no opinions were passed that I can
recall. However, I would like to say
retrospectively that it was a great run, more because of the way the RA had
organised the weather than anything the Hares did. (Other hashes that I’ve been on give the RA a serious hard time
if he doesn’t arrange good weather.) Virgin
Annie Rose sank her down-down like she’d been doing it for years. Welcome to the Hash Annie and may there be
many more. I haven’t a clue what
she’s doing here or whether the acting GM even asked her. Other
down downs were swiftly awarded to:
There
were some certificates and a mug to hand out for the high achievers:
Five-Year-Old-Shit for having been on 25 runs, Can’t Pull for 225 runs and
Chicken F***er for 250 runs. I have
no recollection at all of this happening so maybe it will next week. Webfart then handed over to an unready
Bozo who was trying to manage umbrella, bag, hat, a rack of paper cups and
speaking notes all at once (and failing abjectly). Continuing
last weeks theme of house clearance, this week he’d cleared out his booze
cupboard of things that only his dear “about-to-be-departed” would drink,
along with raking around under the kids’ beds to see what lay there as
well. The result was a concoction of
vodka mixes that, with one exception, seemed to go down pretty well. Tall Man was first up, not sure why. Maybe just to check that it wasn’t
instantly fatal before administering a dose to others. Good choice of guinea pig though, ‘cos he
gave me serious earache on the run for going the long (off-paper) way round
on a couple of occasions. So
the first real sinner was a young lady, apparently from Mongolia, for wearing
what Bozo took to be a full-body condom.
Not sure why he hasn’t got more kids.
The large gent with her (apologies – I didn’t get a name) was
appointed as stand-in drinker but she decided she’d go for the down-down
herself as well. That is, until the
liquid touched her lips. Next
in was Jimmy, goodness knows why, closely followed by a four-way private
party comprising Tall Man and three others. Dennis
and Front Running Bus Toad were then castigated for wearing new footwear to
the hash. Given the conditions
underfoot during the run, Dennis is to be commended for drinking all from the
shoe. His co-sinner took the easy way
out and tipped it straight on his head. Whilst
Bozo was conducting affairs from beneath his rather large umbrella his poor,
unfortunate better half was left out in the rain to fend for herself. Sadly, the protection that Sex Starved
took shelter under proved to be Bozo’s nice dry towel. So, on in Sex Starved to take another bow
(and help to finish the disgusting mix of left over booze from her cupboards). There
seemed to be a bright blue and yellow glow coming from the opposite side of
the circle. The source of the glow
was a loudly dressed personage that could only be an American tourist, this
particular part of Uttara being noted for the hordes of tourists that it
attracts, especially during the monsoon.
However, we were all disappointed to realise that it was only the
one-and-only Geli, dressed like a prat. You
will recall that towards the end of the run one of the Hares and a well-known
member of the pack were spotted apparently sneaking back from the woods. The RA has a long memory (or one that
spans at least 60 minutes anyway) and duly hauled in Dirty Girl and LBH for
indulging in sex on the hash. Finally
Webfart requested a minute’s silence in remembrance of Foxy Runner and a last
chorus of Swing Low. Next
week’s run will be Hared by Syphie, 16.30 at ISD. On On Towed |
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Returnees practising formation drinking |
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Sex Starved is leaving for ever and …. |
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…Bozo already has his little Mongolian
condom in place |
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Jimmy gets one |
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Tastes like shite? It probably was! |
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Loud bastard |
Humpty Dumpty in the woods |
and a final Swing Low for Foxy |
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