DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1360		22^nd September 2007
		Location: ISD Bashundara
Has Minty just tasted what Tuneless Cow has in her Camelback, or is he thinking about something different?
Hares: Baby Bear, Fart Echo, Second Cumming, Warm & Fluffy			Hashers: 72
Virgins: Tom, Steven, Jason, Chris			New Runners: Glen, Tanya,Wendy & Robin
Returnees: Slippery Hole, Nicole, Circumcised & Cloth Balls			Leavers: none that would admit it
Milestones: Carol – 25 Runs, Groper – 75 Runs & Deportee – 375 Runs
The Pack, anxious for the “Off”	The Run This has to be the first time in all my years of hashing that a run has started before the due time. Second Cumming was dancing around like a cat on hot bricks and organising everyone, especially the GM, to get things moving otherwise we’d be too late, so at 16.44 we were all off and running. Fart Echo even told the walkers to shift their arses otherwise they’d never make the B point before Iftar. In a sound move designed to collect latecomers on our way out, the first paper was back along the way we’d come in (note, however, that the ploy failed in the case of one American, who shall remain nameless to protect him from abuse from the RA, who wandered around for a while having tried to follow the runners who he had seen in the distance, before giving up and walking home again!). From here, however, we headed east and then further north. A few devious false trails were thrown in and some old paper was still around to add to the confusion, so we wandered around the back streets for a while, behind the new shopping mall, until we eventually emerged at the entry gate. From here the Hares had opted for simplicity to take us by the most direct route, not passing go nor collecting 200 taka, to the secluded security of Baridhara. In through the first gate, a group headed straight down Road 13 only to find the false trail and be dragged back to the check. They should have realised that the obvious route was road 12. From there, it was straight down the lake side and over the bridge – pausing for a check on the way. Then back up into Gulshan the usual way and through the park. The penultimate check was on the far side of the park, with a huge false trail taking the more gullible of us well north of where the trail really went. However, the B point was now limited to a choice of two, so most of us who had gone north cut through across the main avenue, checked for a sight of the cars at Webfarts, and then headed straight for Warm & Fluffy’s roof. The rest of the runners, and the walkers who we had caught up in the park straggled in a few minutes later. The timing was perfect for those who were fasting, so well done to the Hares for getting everyone there.
The Hare has to show the way
The pack, actively checking
Hares	The Circle Once we’d all slaked our thirst and satisfied hunger cravings, the GM called proceedings to order and asserted herself. The run was a very quick (64 minutes) 7.4km for those who followed paper all the way. Those responsible were called in to face the music. The usual cries of “bollox” from Webfart rang out with some more muted flattery along similar lines. Virgins were then called in, at least the three that were left. Chris is working at the British Council and will be here for a year, Steven is another bloody Aussie who is working as a volunteer at UNDP and, with a build up by the GM that almost involved her having an orgasm, (yet another one missed by Challenger!) Tom was introduced. He’s famous, apparently, and writes children’s books, and is here to speak at AIS (whatever that might be). New Runners were Glen, who’s a Pom and has run on the Rwanda Hash, Robin, who has run somewhere that I can’t decipher and comes from the jolly old US of A, Wendy who’s another sodding Aussie and has run in PNG, and Miss Conscrew whose previous hash experiences were in Morocco. Returnees were Cloth Balls, who has come back more often than a bad curry and had been to Italy and the UK, Slippery Hole who was back in Germany, Nicole, who’d been to the Maldives and Circumcised back from a tour of Scandahoolie Land, taking in all three member states. The HM’s curtain call was the award of three certificates for long service (which she had remembered to sign this week). Carol has done it twenty five times (in one year, so she claimed), Groper – 75 times and Deportee has done it a fantastic 375 times with, I suspect, a highly significant proportion of Hares. Read that as you wish! Acting RA Webfart was then called upon to strut his stuff and he just couldn’t wait to get his hands on Pickled Pussy. Having, as usual, abandoned her maternal duties for the duration of the run, she proceeded to take this to extremes and completely ignore her darling little boy as she ran through the walkers on the way through the park, thus upsetting the poor little chap and seriously pissing off the appointed minder who had a bawling baby on her back for the rest of the event. Baby Bear also had a charge against someone on the walk but had forgotten what the charge was or who it was against. Say no more! However it could have been Co-Hare Fart Echo who apparently got so far ahead of the walkers that she was catching the runners. There then followed a standard accusation of sex on the hash against Cloth Balls and Tuneless Cow – some subtle comment about Cloth Balls’ banana being eaten, but everyone knew what she really meant. Continuing with the sex theme, Hares Warm and Fluffy and Second Cumming were called in for being unable get laid properly around the park By this time most of the circle had noticed Five-Year-Old-Shit hopping around taking pictures of anything that moved and some that didn’t. W&F is the only legitimate (according to her Mum and Dad) flasher in the circle and wanabee Japanese tourists have no place there. A huge debate followed about the qualifications for returnees. It was started by Webfart noticing that Gorf, absent from the hash for a while, had not been called in as a returnee. Thus, Hash Stats Syphie and GM Penis were called in to explain why they had cocked things up and managed to let the allegedly offending Gorf escape his reward for coming back. It transpired that he had not actually been out of the country, just bored with the hash, so did not qualify as he wasn’t returning from anywhere. The final offence was committed by Pubic Hare, stealing LBH’s thunder by bringing young bumpies of his own on the hash. Announcements were that there will be a meeting for those attending the Glitter Ball on 2^nd October, 8.00 p.m. at Penis’ place, I believe. Dunny Gone announced there would be a Quiz Night at the Aussie Club on Tuesday night – Tk500 per head – (at which the hash table comprising Bum Deal, Horse’s Arse, Tuneless Cow, Cloth Balls, Rocks Off, Blow Pipe and Towed, came third and won tickets to ……) the Thursday night BBQ at the Aussie club (which will have also passed by the time that you read this) This week’s run is at 16.30, Nordic Club, 29^th September. On On, Towed
Virgins (with the incredibly famous one on the left)
New Runners
A different lot of sad, certified bastards this week
Mean old Mum
Its elephants that never forget, not Bears
Beers, not bananas
The crap layers	What is Gorf doing with both hands?			The bringers of young Bumpies