DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1365			20^th October 2007
North of Ashulia
Not that you’d guess she’s a Schoolmarm
Hares: Bozo the Clown, Webfart, Pubic Hare & Towed				Hashers: 38
Virgins: Jessica, Gregor				New Runners: none
Leavers: Bozo, Webfart		Returnees: Low Rider, Penis, Blow Job
Milestones: Tuneless Cow – 50 Runs
Two real returnees and one fake	The Run Another fantastic run in the countryside (although that wasn’t Tall Man’s frequently expressed verdict during the run). The benefits of thorough reconnoitring were evident, at least for the walkers who had eventually to be guided by Geli, since Pubic Hare was as lost as he had been when recce-ing the run in the morning (for those who weren’t there, he travelled 12.5 miles on his morning recce, not all on foot, and still managed to end up 2.48 miles from the On-In site – we know this because he had a GPS). It was just as well that Webfart had confiscated his paper before we started laying the trail, otherwise the walkers would probably have ended up at Gazipur. The run started at the same site as the memorable run that Camel Jockey set for his 400^th and the tone of the run was set when the pack lost paper within 50 metres of the On-In and Tall Man started moaning about it. The trail was soon rediscovered and the pack headed off in a north-easterly direction towards the lake. There were two false trails from the first check, both of which were discovered and run before the real trail was found, which set the tone for the rest of the checks, almost all of which had false trails, most of which were run by Dunny Gone! The trail looped around, roughly following the lakeside before swinging west again and despite the fact that there were three running Hares, the tail end of the pack seemed to trail way behind the rest every so often. I managed to forget where Bozo and Webfart had set the trail and had to lead one section on-Hare, and it was starting to get so dark under the bamboo that hints about the direction of the correct trail had to be dropped. Eventually we reached the road again and crossed it to the east in the gathering gloom. Some of the pack took the easy way back along the road but most continued to follow paper. At the penultimate check the leading group, who had by now completely lost the rest of the pack, rebelled and headed for the road. We finished in complete darkness and there was slight concern about the whereabouts of the other two Hares for a while. Did I mention that Tall Man moaned throughout the whole run?
Happy to be leaving
TC has done it 50 times
As usual with Sucker, the woman’s on top doing all the work	The Circle After some discussion about holding the circle back at Little Italy, it was decided to remain on site and circle in the darkness. The Hares were duly called in for the usual adulation and, at around only one hour twenty minutes, it is surprising that no-one complained of the run being too short. Virgins Jess and Gregor were introduced. I’ve no idea where they were from. According to LBH, who was seen to be never more than 10 metres behind her, Jess is a really good runner. Returnees Penis, Blow Job and Moira O’Sullivan (Low Rider?) were called in next, and Dunny Gone and I somehow managed also to be in the group. Considering we’d both been returnees only the day before this was a bit difficult to fathom. Perhaps we just wanted to be close to Moira, who had front run most of the hash. Sources in Kathmandu where she has just been report that she’s related to Irish gold medallist Sonia. 50^th runner Tuneless Cow was then awarded her certificate before the GM handed over to Bozo. Bozo started on a very topical note, namely the success of the Australian team at the recent Rugby World Cup. Not that he realised he was being topical, he just seeks any excuse to take the piss out of the Aussies. He was, however, most rudely interrupted by a four-way private party being conducted by Sucker, Goose Bumpy Tuneless Cow and Ahamed (more of whom later) who were duly hauled in to provide suitable props for the Aussies. With his usual slick efficiency and iron control, Bozo managed to complete these ceremonies in a little under ten minutes. Continuing on the world cup theme, a Frog (well, Tuneless Cow who’s a friend of a Belgian) and a Kiwi were called in to find out what went wrong with their teams. At least the Aussies had the excuse of having only one person in their front row. Next up were the walking Hares, or rather the Walking Hare and his assistant Geli, without whom we would have lost all the walkers. I could have sworn that Geli was on the run, so I’m not sure what happened here. Ahamed was then called back in. He had arrived at Little Italy in full civvies and walked into the toilet area, followed by his valet who proceeded to undress him and replace the office wear with hash gear, even down to tying his shoes. Since the whole episode was done in full sight of the RA, he should not have expected any mercy. Finally, Birthday Boy Webfart was invited for a hashy birthday song before the GM called things to a close and On-Pizza to Little Italy On On, Towed
Private party still going on!
Birthday boy
The tied shoes ….
…. and the one who didn’t tie them	I’m in f***ing charge here				One walking Hare, one wanking Hare