DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1373						15^th December 2007
Homebound to Matthias’ Place
Where’s my F***ing Down-Down?
Hares: Matthias, Hans, Geli & LBH							Hashers: 53
Virgins: Ralph, Nicole & Hannah							New Runners: none
Leavers: Syphie, Glen, Towed, Cloth Balls, Tuneless Cow, Fart Echo, England 6 – Scotland 9, Comic Stripper, Dunny Gone & Andrew							Returnee: Deportee
Milestones: Myrtille (now French Knicqueurs) – 25 Runs
The Run		The Run Starting from Homebound? Hare LBH? Guess where this was going to go! Sure enough we headed straight for Banani lake (on-Hare and no paper – must be an LBH run) and then looped a bit further south and back across to Gulshan lake. Then it was north up the lake with a few variations and false trails to mislead the odd one or two. A select few cheating shortcutting bastards ignored the calls back from just before the main road from Gulshan 1 in order to complete a little loop and carried on straight up the lakeside to pick up paper on the other side. I just hope they got so cold waiting for the honest members of the pack that they pulled a muscle when they started running again. After a while we left the lakeside and swung west to take in the cricket park (although not running through it, other than a select few who felt that I was obligatory if there was a check at the park gates). Then it was back to the lake and across the causeway and through the rubbish tips by the US Embassy and on into Baridhara. By this time the cripples, myself and Horse’s Arse were bringing up the rear – me at a sedate walk and Horse’s at an agonising hobble. That’ll teach him to pull his groin (and he a married man!). There were a few other notable laggards with no real excuse – Sucker and Son of Sucker to name but two. We wended our way through the streets of Baridhara and over Rickshaw Bridge into north Gulshan and eventually to Matthias’ abode. The running Hares had completely lost control by this time and the pack were just carrying on without holding checks and ignoring calls back. It seems that the pack is only tolerant of Hares’ instructions up to 60 minutes into the run and thereafter it’s a free for all. We finally met Matthias and the Mutt that had been dragging him around at Homebound before the start of the run. Roles were now reversed and Matthias was having to drag about 90 kilos of Rottweiler for the last few hundred metres. Every time he stopped, she collapsed in a heap.
Sex on the Hash
Do I have to keep on walking?
Will Virgin Nicole take it …?		The Circle Bum Deal was standing in as GM since the usual suspects were both away. With the help of a few others she finally called the circle into some sort of order although the volume of private parties rumbled on continuously – disrespectful bastards. The circle got off to a good start with the beer maid (Fart Echo standing in for Challenger) managing not to give Geli a beer. I thought that the vote of bollox for the run from somebody was overstating things a bit. Was it that good? Virgins Nicole and Ralph were called in – Virgin Hannah having already departed. Nicole is working in the German Embassy and Ralph is a house husband. There was big hesitation on the down-down by Nicole and eventually Ralph had to make the supreme sacrifice of drinking it for her. Deportee was the only returnee and it may or may not be a coincidence, but a hell of a lot of people decided to leave! Syphie, Towed, Cloth Balls and fart Echo are all headed for Blighty, Tuneless Cow for Germany, Glen for Somewhere-stan, England 6 – Scotland 9 probably for somewhere interesting and Dunny Gone & Andrew (Leaving for the second time in two weeks – please see the notes for guidance in last week’s trash) are off to Oz. Comic Stripper is probably off back to Scandihoolieland, but I didn’t catch what he said. At long last, Myrtille has done it 25 times and was duly certified before the circle was handed over to the tender mercies of RA Bozo. Blow Pipe was called in for having sex on the hash twice – the first time with Camel Jockey and the second with Rocks Off – he said he couldn’t make his mind up which was best! Then our Host, Matthias was accused of buggering off halfway through the walk just because his little doggy wanted to go walkabout. The RA continued has abuse of worthy and devoted hashers by calling in those responsible for maintaining the website with up to date information – having stats that are only four months out of date and missing four trashes isn’t too bad. Then poor cold Myrtille was the subject of sexual harassment for wearing too many clothes before Bozo launched into a long and convoluted diatribe about the colour and material of her knickers. This was interrupted by an increasingly noisy private party involving Homeless, Deportee and Camel Jockey. Bozo went on so long that he had to take a beer break halfway through. Other down downs were awarded to Glen and Five Year Old Shit look alike, Syphie, for letting FYOS fall off his perch once again on Thursday evening, Crusty Lobster and Trek or Treat for child abuse (they’re flying their son back to Bangadesh on Biman, so double punishment there, then) and Tuneless Cow for asking Foreskin Biryani if he liked to hold long thin things in his hands. Then it was time to carry on with the abuse of Myrtille and continue an extremely knicker and licker-oriented discussion leading into a naming ceremony. Cointreau and Moulin Rouge were kicked into touch in favour of French Knicqueurs. Interestingly, Haqueuer Fucqueur, when called in to interpret, claimed the sexy French knickers were, in fact, grey. It was to the relief of the circle that Bozo decided by this point that he’d done enough and handed back to Bum Deal for announcements. On On Towed
… not a chance, and Ralph has to help himself
25 timer
Sex on the hash? – something’s made his hair stand on end!
French Knicqueurs
Mein Host		The Piss Up Afterwards I can only say that the hospitality of Matthias and his wife was so good that nobody wanted to leave. The photos give some idea of the level of debauchery that went on. Many thanks to Matthias and his wife for a great Hash Party. On On Towed