DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1383						26^th January 2008
AUSTRALIA DAY RUN
Hare in a Hurry
Hares: Aussies Dunny Gone, Foreskin, Hairy Crack, Peter, Anne, Can’t Pull, Bum Deal and wannabeeanaussie Horse’s Arse							Hashers: 52
Virgins: Roshni, Mashiur							New Runner: none
Leavers: Ali Wank Bonk				Returnees: Show Dawg, Dunny Gone
Milestones: Second Cumming – 125 Runs; Horse’s Arse – 175 Runs; Webfart – 275 Runs And Can’t Pull – 250 Runs
Can’t Text takes it easy	The Run Fortunately, just for a change, the hash was late in starting otherwise me and my trusty driver Bozo would have been late for the start. The useless sod had only locked himself out of his apartment, which is something of a feat when the only lock on the door is on a deadlock. Anyway thanks to the mismanagement of the Hares we had time to get tee shirts, generally chat with people and have a couple of beers and still be waiting for them to start. Maybe they were waiting for it to stop raining. It didn’t! So after a brief briefing by Dunny Gone we trotted out of the gate and turned right down to the lake, where we headed south. Predictable, or what? OK, so it was going to cut across to Gulshan Lake, work its way north up through Baridhara and then over rickshaw bridge and down to the Aussie Club. Wrong, because LBH wasn’t one of the Hares! So we kept going south, before cutting across to the south end of Gulshan lake. Here the trail feinted north and then headed across the bridge and turned even further south into a builder’s yard – shit, where were they taking us? At last we turned north away from the foetid black swamp that passes for the southern extremity of the lake and into a maze of small lanes and alleys. Checks came fairly thick and fast so as not to lose people and eventually gained South Avenue and more familiar territory. However, further surprises were in store as we continued north through the streets and lanes until we were about halfway to Gulshan 2 where the Hares threw in a rubbish tip slide. This was where you really didn’t want to crash, but a few managed who were to be identified later on by the RA. From the check here we had a very muddy run up through the shacks lining the lakeside and on to a beer stop at the junction with UN road. The Hares’ imagination had been fully used up by this stage and it was a straight run in from Here to the Aussie Club. Certainly a town run with a difference, and made by the fact that IT DIDN’T STOP FUCKING RAINING all the way through.
Trek or Treat? Rubbish
Girlies holding hands
Delicately done by Geli		Look at me – I can fly!			Ooohhhh … … ... Shit
The Hares	The Circle Once the debacle of having eight Hares for a down-down was over, the GM was more relaxed about welcoming in the two virgins: Roshni who is from Australia and a travelling spouse, and Mashiur, who is from Dhaka and into freight forwarding. Strange bloody pastime, that. Returnees were Show Dawg and Dunny Gone. Show Dawg was touring the US and Armenia (and is one of the only people I’ve seen who can sleep upright on a bar stool without falling off) and Dunny Gone had been for an exotic time in Australia. Once she’d got rid of Ali Wank Bonk to Sweden, it only remained to award a bunch of certificates to Second Cumming (125), Horse’s Arse (175), Can’t Pull (250) and Webfart with a massive 275. Just when we thought that the formalities were over and we could start enjoying ourselves, Foreskin, Bozo and Webfart were called in to lead 18 choruses of “Singin’ in the Rain”. Not sure how much the first two contributed as Webfart did all the work. RA Bozo then most unfairly, and so out of character, picked on an Australian as his first victim. All that virgin Roshni had been doing was wearing a full-length condom throughout the walk and it needed to be beer-checked for leakage. She then treated herself to a beer shampoo with the down-down. Keeping up with the down-under theme, upside down down-downs were handed out to LBH and Homeless. LBH for successfully avoiding the rubbish tip slide (he was also noticed tiptoeing along some steel reinforcement to avoid a puddle that must have been at least half an inch deep. Homeless, not so gifted at avoidance as LBH, had tried to find the way around it but failed. We hear that trying and failing is the story of his lust life as well. Fittingly, the down under down-downs were poured, in Fosters, by Anne and Hairy Crack. Other victims of the rubbish slide were crashers Dunny Gone, Can’t Pull and Tattooed Tart Melinda, with a special mention for artistic interpretation for Five-Year-Old-Shit (who managed not to crash). The previous day had been a special celebration of possibly the most important day in the calendar – Burns’ Night – and the Hash had duly celebrated by winning nearly all of the raffle prizes. Nothing at all to do with the fact that Jock-ess Warm and Fluffy had organised the raffle. Not only that, but she had managed to arrange for Sucker to win no prizes at all. Then it was down to the special occasion that is the 26^th January. Bozo referred, of course, to International Convicts Day. To celebrate this awe-specious occasion token Abo, Webfart, was dragged into the circle and all the Aussies invited to hurl abuse at him, to make them feel at home. Strangely enough it was the bumpies who responded to the invitation – maybe just a chance to abuse Webfart rather than the other way round! Thinking he was done, Webfart tried to leave the circle but Bozo was having none of it. Apparently there had been serious use of a cellphone on the walk and Webfart was the culprit. The final sin had absolutely nothing to doe with the Hash. England 6 – Scotland 9 was called in for supporting some obscure football team from the deep south of England who were going to play another obscure football team from the north west later the same day. So? Finally well done to the Hares for a town run with a difference and the hospitality and shelter of the Aussie club for the circle. Also the great food that went with it. On On Towed
Virgins
One of them is a welcome back
Duly certified
Sex in the Circle
Proof testing the virgin
Aprés Hash attire			Down-downs from Down Under for LBH and Homeless