DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1397			26^th March 2008
INDEPENDENCE DAY RUN
The Ceremonial Start
Hares: Bum Deal, KBKC, Dunny Gone, Tuneless Cow, Pubic Hare, Zaya, Mauritz				Hashers: 36
Virgins: Kishor, Laurie				New Runners: none
Leavers: Ipodophile, Crusty Lobster		Returnees: Bina, LBH, Hairy Crack
The Rabble that Ran
On Convoy	The Run What can one say about a street run around Dhanamondi? The most exciting bit was the ride down there from KBKC’s place in open Homebound trucks. Discretion being the better part of valour I had decided to walk and save my knee for the country run a couple of days later. The Street Walkers were led by Pubic Hare (“I was born and raised in this area and know it like the back of my hand”) like a tour guide with his little flag on a stick. The first bit was through the park by the lake before we took to the streets, crossing a few bridges on the way and admiring the bright green shade of the lake. This was the first time I’ve been a walker on the DMH. What an unbelievably fucking boring pastime. People talk to you, Hairless Beaver tells American jokes that you don’t understand because you thought Chelsea was a football team and Pubic Hare gives a running (well, walking actually) commentary on everything from Bangladesh history to where to expect, in great excitement, the next blob of hash paper. The only similarity with the run is that I wasn’t on paper for 80 percent of the time. The runners clearly had a better deal although Chicken Fucker and Subuhi obviously got bored and returned early to the truck. When we got there they were lying together, exhausted, with a large crowd having gathered around to see the action. The timing of run and walk was excellent, I must admit, as no sooner had we arrived at the trucks than the first of the runners staggered in. We had an entertaining ride home, during which I got to sit on Melinda’s head every time there we had to pass under a low branch, much to my delight. I didn’t realise that there were so many low branches around!
Hairless Beaver thinks it’s that way
The Street Walkers
Six of the Seven Hares	The Circle In the absence of Penis, I think it must have been Bum Deal who stood in as GM. The circle was certainly chaotic enough for it to have been her. Hares were called in and everyone was as polite as usual, but there seemed to be no-one to start the song as Bum Deal was a Hare. Virgins were then invited in to introduce themselves – Laurie is from somewhere in the US and came with Can’t Text and Kishor is from Bangladesh and wasn’t sure why he came. It gets us all that way from time to time! Leavers were Ipodophile who is off to India to look at more cement factories (did you know that in Indonesia, cement is spelled ‘semen’ – would that make him a sex tourist?) and Crusty Lobster is off on here travels again, this time to Cambodia. Returnees were Bina, LBH who came back early from Interhash because he thought Australia was crap (joining the rest of the world), and Hairy Crack who was finally back from Kathmandu. Bum Deal then handed proceedings over to her fellow conspirator Five-Year-Old-Shit who managed to forget the headgear so was immediately awarded a down-down for his troubles. Lots of Down-downs followed: - Tall Man for having the biggest one - Patrick for having the smallest one - Who The Fuck Is Alice for having the biggest one without a stick - Pubic hare for boring commentary on the walk and Hairless beaver for being even more boring than that - Can’t Pull and Goose Bumpy for making it through an alcohol-free Lent - Horse’s Arse for the beggar imitation to the AHC car at Rangs Babhan - Bum Deal for being a horny bitch and hauling down Horse’s Arse’s shorts - Horse’s Arse again for being an illiterate Canuck, not being able to read Bangla, along with Chicken Fucker for some unknown reason - Trek or Treat (or Trick or Treat as FYOS insists on calling him) with Tall Man for unnecessarily wearing condoms - LBH for rushing back early from Interhash in order to make the Friday walk from the Nordic Club - Chicken Fucker and Subuhi for sex on the truck - Virgin Laurie with Can’t Text and Zaya with Mauritz for sex on the Hash - Last week’s Virgin Liv for being daft enough to come again It was with something of a sense of relief that FYOS announce that the penultimate down-down would be awarded to LBH and Subuhi for new shoes before he hauled in KBKC as the host of the Bangladesh Independence Day Run. KBKC then decided that it was time he awarded a few down-downs of his own as DHHH RA. First up was DHH GM Dunny Gone with some convoluted tale from KBKC about how the DHHH GM had run away when the rest were fighting for the independence of that Hash. Cant Pull was his next victim for some much needed drinking practice. To celebrate his falling off the wagon, Can’t Pull offered everyone a free beer, only to find that there was not enough in the Hash box (or perhaps he already knew!) to go around so the offer was hastily withdrawn. There followed an excellent dinner for which much thanks are due to KBKC, as well as the rest of his hospitality and the organisation of this annual event. On On Towed
Sex above and sex below
Free Beer? From me? Fuck That!
Host and Hare