Trash 1400

DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1400

12^th April 2008

Distance: 8 km; Time: 75mins

Location: Way beyond Tongi

A hot and sweaty pack of runners

Hares: Warm & Fluffy, Minty Hole, Dick Head

Hashers: 46

Virgins: Frank, Eleanor

New Runners: Over Exposed

Returnees: Kasey, Dhaka Dawg, Show Dawg, Deputy Dog, Pussy PickUp, Pickled Pussy, Tuneless Cow, Penís, Trek-or-Treat, Crusty Lobster, Goose Bumpy

Leavers: Minty Hole, Phillipa, Prince Zulu

Milestones: Minty Hole (600), Warm & Fluffy (200), Groper (100), Dunny Gone (75), Pickled Pussy (50)

Warm up on a hot day

The run/walk

Hares reported having taken over an hour to get to the A-point from Tongi Bata Shoe, to the extent that they couldn’t make it back for registration. The main pack of hashers on the other hand took less than 20 minutes on convoy, as they were swept along in the slipstream of the flashing lights and police batons of new runner Over Exposed’s (aka US Ambassador Jim) entourage. All eventually gathered on a raised spot amongst lovely open fields and rice paddies in all directions.

A hot and sweaty day, but Minty nevertheless called for a warm up song from Bozo, who happily obliged with a rapid rendition of Father Abraham – pulling a would-be non-participatory LBH into the middle to demonstrate the actions.

Suitably hotter and sweatier by now, hashers headed off across the fields in search of paper which, once found, led runners and walkers off in the same direction for a while before a split directed runners off south along a wide grassy promontory to a check at the end on top of a small mound….of earth.

With water all around there seemed to be only one way forward, and a wet one at that, so runners headed off towards the only feasible-looking crossing. The more water-phobic however soon found paper heading back virtually the way we’d just come, although sufficiently off to one side to avoid any trail-crossing. All-in-all a very large and seemingly pointless loop as we soon found ourselves back with the walkers who’d of course known to avoid the loop all along.

To avoid trail confusion walkers were using long stringy fetuccine-style paper, but runners were still spotted trying to follow the walking trail and complaining that there was no runners shreddie – one forgets to allow for the hashing IQ lowest common denominator.

The run then continued to weave around in a large loop with lots of mini-loops and a few falsies, one of which nearly saw Prince Zulu disappear off into the distance and which prompted hare Warm & Fluffy to comment to Penís that surely someone should have been given responsibility to keep an eye on Prince Zulu him being a minor and all. Penís then admitted that she had been given just that responsibility - ooops.

After a quick group photo and as the hour passed, hashers were still weaving their way through paddy fields and across some rather boggy inlets with very sticky mud – which managed to separate a few shoes from feet. Eventually the trail led back onto the embankment road and hashers were soon in sight of the cars waiting patiently at the original A-point, along with the even more patient walkers who’d been hanging around for 15 mins.

In addition to the usual water and beer, Warm & Fluffy and Minty Hole laid on free bottles of corona for everyone and a few bottles of sparkling wine for the ladies (although it was Web Fart who grabbed a bottle to himself and didn’t let go)!

Not the FRBs

A walk in the park

Do we have to get wet?

Mud-jumping for two

A blanket on a hot day?

The Circle

The usual crowds of local Bangladeshis didn’t gather so closely around the circle, as Over Exposed’s police escort stood menacingly around us, facing outwards towards the crowd, with guns poised. What must they have thought!

This circle was to be Penís’ last as Hash Mattress with the AGM only a week away. A few glasses of bubbly were obviously on hand to help her enjoy the occasion (those that Web Fart hadn’t commandeered). As the circle got underway boxes of yummy samosas and not so yummy singara were handed around – again courtesy of Minty and Warm & Fluffy.

The usual preliminaries, with both abuse and thanks to the hares for a long but good run (and of course free booze and snacks). A welcome to virgins, including Eleanor, the third and final Bozo-the-Clown family member to grace the hash. A welcome also for police-escorted newcomer Over Exposed, an old hashing acquaintance from Nepal of our usual hash scribe Towed.

Lots of returnees, AISD teachers mostly, and a few leavers including newly-married Minty Hole who’s off to see his son in Canada, and the younger members of the Clown family (Phillipa and Prince Zulu) who have obviously had enough of Bozo’s style of baby-sitting.

Certificates of the multiple of 50 variety for Groper and Pickled Pussy – so where were the t-shirts, free beers and snacks!!!! A 75 run certificate for Dunny Gone. Then certificates and mugs for get-a-lifers Minty Hole and Warm & Fluffy who had indeed laid on some goodies – you can never go wrong with free booze on the hash!

Next it was over to RA Bozo but as stand-in scribe I have to rely on photos as I failed to take any notes (too busy taking photos, drinking sparkling wine and eating samosas). At some stage Web Fart took over as RA (still clinging onto a bottle of bubbly). Boobs and bottoms abounded as the circle descended into chaos and for some reason Minty ended up sitting in a muddy puddle, but I’m sure it was all fun fun fun.

Finally a final wrap-up by the HM (although I get the feeling we’re going to see her in the circle again) and then it was time to go – in the wake of Over Exposed’s escort for the quickest run back to Gulshan ever possible on a Saturday night!