DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1403				1^st May 2008
WEBFART’S – MAY DAY RUN
May Day Revellers without a Maypole (unless you look bottom right, and below)
Hares: Webfart, Warm & Fluffy, Bum Deal & Horse’s Arse					Hashers: 21
Virgins: Erin					New Runners: none
Leavers: Bum Deal & Horse’s Arse			Returnees: none
Maypole!	The Run The run started at Webfart’s with an allegedly Mexican, puce-coloured cocktail of chilli and alcohol that had even the toughest of drinkers brushing a tear from their eye. With my knee still crocked I was walking again – oh joy – another street walk. Never mind – one has to put up with some hardship in the good cause of beer. From the start we headed south and cut through to the new path beside the lake, bumping into the runners occasionally and continued across the main road and further down the lake to the site of the new bridge from where we crossed and headed north. Gorf whizzed past us every now and again – an indication that the rest of the running pack were following a trail a long way from the one we were on. Dominatrix bitch Bum Deal kept her whip out most of the time to keep us on the right path and virgin Erin trotted along with us, having to be brought back every time she headed off on the wrong road. That was basically it – we kept heading north, mostly up the other side of the lake until we reached the ‘B’ point at sponsor Gary’s place which is up at the north end of Warm and Fluffy’s road.
The only picture of the run
Most of the Hares	The Circle The GM awarded herself and co-Hares a down-down then invited virgin Erin in to tell us all about herself. She is from Minny Sota, here on a research grant and brought to the Hash by Lip Service. Leavers were Bum Deal and Horse’s Arse – heading for Darjeeling on a sex tour and visa run. Festivities were then handed over to Bozo The Clown, who apparently had a T-shirt fixation. First victim was Can’t Pull for wearing a DHHH shirt which disappeared over the balcony before Geli could do anything more vile to it. Continuing the T-shirt theme he then hauled in Cloth Balls, more by the way of an apology for turning his car seat blue as the dye ran out of Bozo’s sweaty shirt than for any particular sin. Since Gary had sponsored these shirts (REFIT appears to be the name of his set up) he was also brought in, and there ensued a long and complicated discussion about blue people and what they (Smurfs) were called in France (les Smurfs), Belgium (les Smurfs), Germany (non-Aryan), Sweden (citizens), Russia (naked Siberians), etc., courtesy of representatives from those fine countries. Geli was then castigated for his nearly colour coordination of shirt, handbag and shorts before Bozo launched into a long and tedious tale about a lost hair clip, grossly slandering both Lip Service and my good self in the process. The only reason that he knew about it was because she was in his apartment when I went down to get a lift to the Hash (and she disappeared into the bedroom to get undressed whilst I was there). Pancho Chowdhury, alias Webfart, was called in along with virgin Erin who was castigated for mistaking Webfart for Bum Deal’s husband. I can understand why he, Bum Deal and Horse’s Arse were all well upset. There followed a piece of blatant non-hash advertising for D***a S***e who are putting on a performance involving a number of hashers. Geli was called in as a look alike for Webfart’s ferocious guard dog, Scratchy, who had sat in the porch at Webfart’s with his dick hanging out whilst all the hashers arrived to sign in. Fortunately Geli had his back to me when he was asked to show the assembled circle how it looked. I doubt, though, if Erin will be coming back! Webfart then took over as RA, Bozo having run his course as it were (see photo) and proceeded to award further down-downs to: - LBH for going home in the middle of a hash (and then continuing) - Pubic Hare and Bjorn Again who were noted sneaking off together – the least cute hash couple - LBH again for falling from his former glory as a successful fell runner on the Brecon Beacons to being knackered after a 40 minute walk. Among the announcements (and to much abuse by that great liberal spirit and defender of the underdog, Bozo The Clown) was that of the mismanagement’s decision not to award certificates to Hashers who had a less than 5% haring record. All a result, according to Bozo, of the Ginger Nazi takeover of the mismanagement. When pressed, Webfart even admitted to dying his hair black, from its natural red colour. Syphie started muttering about lack of consultation and not being notified about the mismanagement meeting until it was pointed out to him that he was no longer mismanagement! I have a suggestion. To put a slightly more positive spin on it (and to stop sounding like a combination of Genghis Khan, Adolf or George Dubya on a good day) perhaps they could do, as on some other hashes, and award certificates for, say, 25 runs + 1 hare, 50 + 2 and 100 +5 etc. They could even encourage Hares further by only granting a “Hare credit” for country runs. Other announcements were of Crusty Lobster’s final farewell weekend at Srimongal on 6/7/8 June. Finally Bozo hauled in sponsor and host Gary and waxed lyrical about what a wonderful chap he was and just how much he, Bozo, had enjoyed a gruelling session with Gary’s body pump. First time I’ve heard it called that, but it does sound appropriate! On On Towed
Virgin Erin
A fine body of a Man
Fucked
Mixed up Couples
Oh God – she was in my apartment!		Zey are Bleu
Oh Shit - he’s telling them about the Body Pump