DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1407				17^th May 2008
Bashundara
Why does virgin Emily look so happy? That’s Challenger who’s got a grip of her
Hares: Can’t Pull, French Knicqueurs, Slippery Hole, Sucker & Geli					Hashers: 50
Virgins: Delwar, Joanny, Jackie, Alfred & Emily					New Runner: Kristen
Leavers: Glenn, Cloth Balls, Bozo the Clown			Returnees: Extortionist
Milestones: Slippery Holy – 25 runs; Tuneless Cow – 75 Runs; LBH – 550 Runs
	The Run Although initially billed as going to be 50km south of Dhaka, common sense prevailed amongst the hares and, following a 4.30 meet outside AIS-D we headed on-convoy to Bashundara and up to the north side to the park next to the end of the lake. The runners trundled off, not taking the obvious option across the bamboo bridge and off towards the apartment blocks but continued along the lakeside up and down the banks and, by the looks of things from a healthy distance, across a fair few bits of shiggy. The walkers meanwhile had a gentle stroll along the higher ground, ably guided by Slippery Hole and Virgin Hare French Knicqueurs. Tall Man had brought along his mutt – a German Shepherd that Slippery Hole took an immediate liking to. The walk was dominated by a constant whining from Tuneless Cow occasionally punctuated by shouting at poor sad Bjorn Again to “… put that thing away”. I’m not sure whether we followed the route that had been recced but, having turned away from the lake and headed off to the south-east along roads and through the embrionic tall grass, we eventually arrived at a point where the Hares just stopped and said “this is it – the end.” Well it certainly was the fucking end because there were no chariots in sight and NO BLOODY BEER. The runners, meanwhile, were appearing in the distance and soon joined us. Finally, and to everyone’s relief, the flashing lights of the Over Exposed entourage were spotted above the grass and soon we were heading across the sand again to get to the spot where they and the other chariots had decided to park.
Everyone else jumped this, but this is the only non-blurred shot of the location
Even baby tall grass is taller than Penis
*&^$£”+ing water melon??	The Circle Before the circle could get started food was served courtesy of 550^th Runner, Little Big Horn. It’s a great tradition that the Hash has that when milestones such as this are achieved the achiever generously funds an appropriate celebration. As Blow Job put it, on this great occasion: “550 Runs and water melon??” Once all were sated with this sumptuous fare, GN Warm & Fluffy was able to call the circle to order and drag the Hares into the middle. The usual views of too long/short/flat/hilly were offered, so the Hares, at least, went away happy. Next in were the virgins. Joannie is into machines and from China, Jackie is also from China, Delwar is a local lad and into radio (if he lives up to the instant naming as Del Boy, it probably means he nicks them out of cars), Emily is from New Hampshire and Alfred claimed to be Belgian (but later transpired to be German, having been sussed by the Hash’s resident Belgian). It was pointed out that we already had a Belgian and one was more than enough. New Runner Kristin, from the civilised bit of North America, is here with World Vision and has hashed before in Lusaka. The Extortionist has come back from Thailand (and I’m sure Blow Pipe should also have been a returnee) and Glenn is leaving for Latvia, Cloth Balls for Istanbul and Bozo is off to the UK to satisfy Sex Starved. Certificates were awarded to Tuneless Cow for 75 Runs, Slippery Hole for 25 runs and LBH for a paltry 550 runs. All have achieved the required 4% Haring record recently introduced by the tolerant and democratic mismanagement, with the exception of LBH if you only count country runs that have checks and false trails in them! Bozo then took over and hauled in Blow Job and LBH to re-live the “550 runs and water melon??” moment before Five-Year-Old-Shit was interrogated about Nana Plaza, I think. Sometimes Bozo isn’t too clear in the point he’s making and I’m not too clear in my writing, with the result that there’s a fair bit of creative guesswork goes into these accounts. I think the point being made was that the place burned down after FYOS had visited, and that intense friction had something to do with it! Next in were the running Hares, and here again my recollections of the reality are dimmed. Bozo started off wittering on about the hash concept of there being paper laid and people following it not being too hard even for this bunch to grasp, but then, somehow (and I’ve a feeling that this may have been my fault) Over Exposed was dragged in as being responsible in some way and, on the principle that ‘one Ambo drinks, all Ambos drink’, Foreskin and Can’t Text (as a look alike for yesterday’s visiting Danish Ambo) soon followed. In response to Bozo’s unwarranted accusations of Nazi-ism on the part certain red-headed members of the mismanagement, I would point out that a number of great and good people in history had red hair: Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Eva Braun, Mao Tse Tung (he dyed his), Stalin, Pinochet and George Bush to name but a few, so its unfair to pick out the Nazis or imply that red haired people are tyrannical megalomaniacal bastards. With this in mind, Tuneless Cow was called in to the circle for her constant moaning on the walk and for the extreme discipline that she exercised on the unfortunate Bjorn Again. Next up was Minty, for flashing his polo at all and sundry when getting changed between the cars, before Bozo launched into an account of the return trip from yesterday’s Scandahoolie Hash. This involved Can’t Pull, for his financial expertise in clearing a way through the traffic for hash cars, Lip Service for getting out of the car at this point to have a chat with Bum Deal (possibly to deal with her obsession with Cloth Balls’ trousers – see run 1406) whilst this was going on and being left behind, Goose Bumpy for trying to imitate Over-Exposed’s entourage as we passed through Uttara and Kristin, as a look alike for the car-load of Austrians who rescued Lip Service. Further re-living of Friday’s journey home involved LBH, Tattooed Tart (played by French Knicqueurs) and me for cocking up the simple act of transferring beer from one vehicle to another whilst in a traffic jam in the middle of Uttara. Bozo having run his course, Geli stepped in to chastise walking Hare, French Knicqueurs, who had been too tired after last night’s exertions to drag her chubby little bum out of bed to come and set the hash. Announcements were of the 10^th Mekong Indochina Hash to be held on 24, 25 and 26th October 2008 in Sukhothai, Thailand (visit mekong2008.com) by Foreskin, who has already signed up, and a further reminder to sign up for Crusty’s farewell in Srimongal on 6, 7 and 8 June. On On Towed
Harey bastards
Virgins
Newcomer Kristin
Sad bastards
Thanks for the water melon!
Hole Flasher
What on earth was going on here?
Fridays fuck-ups