DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1420			26^th July 2008
ISD Bashundhara (again)
An almost flawless sunset over Bashundhara
Hares: LBH, Sucker, Two Bottles, Geli, Chicken Fucker and apparently, according to FYOS’s mostly illegible stats sheet, Cyndy Kozara!				Hashers: 40
Virgins: Cyndy Kozara, Lisa Carroll, and somebody Karsten (apologies for missing the Kristin name but the Hash needs to fund some writing lessons for FYOS)				New Runners/Visitors: Liv Fanglin, Jerrycan
Leavers: none		Returnees: Free Willy, Evelyn Ona, Cloth Balls
You can tell Extortionist’s a ‘dip’ by his smart dress and distinguished deportment	The Run With Bozo away for the duration I now seem to have a car full of young bumpies to tote around to the hashes. Not that I’m complaining, of course, it’s just the problem of having to shut the car door very quickly once everyone is in to stop LBH jumping in as well! Anyway, we arrived diplomatically late. Well, at least this week they went in the correct direction from ISD (strange really, with LBH as one of the Hares!). Off we went around the back of the school and out into the wide-open spaces. Chicken Fucker, conducting the walkers, decided to take us around in a big circle in front of the freedom monument (or whatever it is) just to show us where the water levels were in case we hadn’t noticed that it had been raining. Being a true DMHHH Hare, of course, he hadn’t been out when they set the run so all he’d been told was the location of the B point and a time to be there, so he had to wing it. Kabir, hare of the marathon walk last week, was continually out in front trying to work out where the hell it was going, increasing the pressure on Poor Chicken Fucker until he cracked and told me pretty much where we had to be and when. I was then able to offer him a few suggestions as to how we could achieve that. Sadly, he couldn’t arrange the requested beer check. Anyway, we had a nice wander around the edge of the water and through the long grass before eventually heading for the asphalt for the long walk north. Some surprise at this point as Can’t Pull and Minty appeared from nowhere, seeking paper. We could hear the shouts of the rest of the runners who were clearly still searching for paper but these two generously decided to join the walkers for company. We did, at some stage, get passed by the running pack, but it was a pretty unmemorable event. The timing, however, worked pretty well with runners and walkers arriving at the end of the dual carriageway by the lake, now renamed as the Grameen Bus Graveyard pretty much at the same time.
The running pack
The running pack look for Can’t Pull & Minty
Geli tries to mount the local dog	The Circle (part 1) Once everyone was in and suitably refreshed, the pack started getting totally pissed off with the delays in forming the circle. It was so fucking delayed that four Biman flights had passed overhead before W&F called thing to order and even then, no-one could hear her as she hadn’t got the battery operated thingy. (Actually, we think the Biman thing was the same plane going round and round, waiting for the little guys housed in the wings to wind down the wheels!). So, with some huge storm clouds looming in the east, proceedings got under way. The Hares were duly acknowledged before virgins Cyndy, Lisa and Bamboo Bender’s replacement were invited to introduce themselves. Cyndy is Lip Service’s Mum, out visiting for, I think, 6 weeks. If she’s lucky she’ll be leaving before Bozo gets back! Lisa is a new colleague and old classmate of Chaste Whore, so presumably once she finds a bloke there’ll be more requests for spare accommodation. Bamboo Bender’s replacement is going to be here for three years. At this point the storms reached us and it started tipping it down. Wimps made a mad dash for the cars and Webfart was left shouting something like “if you don’t come back, you’ll lose the credit for this run” only to be closely followed by “On Bagha”, as he realised that the GM was already in the Landie and he was talking to nobody. The Circle (part 2) It was, of course, bone dry at the Bagha when we got there, and it was a much depleted circle. Notable absentees were the Aussies who had all fucked off home, social bastards that they are. Undaunted, the GM continued. Visitor Jerrycan is just back again for a couple of weeks to reassess fiduciary risk for DFID aid funding in Bangladesh. Just dust off last year’s report mate, make the language a bit more extreme, and spend the rest of the time by the pool. Returnees were Free Willy, Evelyn Ona (?) and Cloth Balls (that’s 3 people), but they’d all buggered off home so the GM invited in as look-alikes Jerrycan and Minty (that’s 2 people). (Jerrycan please note that your client seems unable to count to 3, so you can probably get away with not changing the report at all!). Webfart took over and launched into some waffle about the criminal code for fraud being appropriate to this run as both ended in 420. Clearly his (losing) performance as a barrister in last week’s major show trial has gone to his head. So the running Hares were then invited in as Webfart reckoned four Hares for a town run were definite fraud. Since LBH was nowhere to be seen, Jerrycan was invited in as a look-alike. Not sure who should feel the most insulted! Other down-downs were awarded to: - Chicken Fucker for being a confused walking Hare - Pubic Hare, who was not on the run but turned up late for the circle. Apparently he’s staying clear of the hash until he Hares next week when he does his 150^th Run, otherwise it would be his 152^nd. - Five-Year-Old-Shit for lying about having soft copy of the hash stats. God help Tuneless Cow when she comes back if he’s only keeping handwritten stuff. - LBH and Horses Arse for some sin relating to trying to get to the B point (I thought that’s what you were supposed to do). In the absence of both, look-alikes Jerrycan (this guy looks like everyone) and I were hauled in to reluctantly accept a free beer. There being no further business the circle closed, just as freshly showered and changed LBH and Deporteur wandered in through the gate. Thanks to the Hares for a decent run. It’s just a shame that the RA fucked up the weather for the circle. On On Towed
Fraudulent Hares
Virgins
Look-alike returnees
Nothing soft about him!
One Jerry drinks, all..