DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1421						31^st July 2008
Gispert’s Birthday Run, AIS Dhaka
Hares: Pubic Hare, Webfart and Her Royal Highness Warm & Fluffy							Hashers: 23
Virgins: none							New Runner: none
Leavers: none				Returnees: none
Minty befriends a large, armless, one legged albino beggar before the run	The Run (Part 1) Judging from this week’s stats, this was going to be a sex-free Hash – no-one was coming or going, there were no virgins and, if you look carefully at the main photo you’ll see that Chaste Whore was also setting out her stall from the start, hanging on to the “No Entry” sign! I’ve no idea where the runners went as the walkers set off in the completely opposite direction. Pubic Hare had decided that today’s walk was to be adventurous so took us north for 50 metres so we could squeeze through a gap in the park fence rather than take a more conventional route through the entrance 50 metres in the opposite direction. The runners had meanwhile headed as far as the Baridhara Park gate where they remained for some considerable time whilst Lip Service took my comments in Trash 1419 to heart and took numerous (but identical) photos of the running pack. They probably shot off down one side of the lake and back up the other whilst Pubic Hare trailed us out of the park by another unconventional route along the shitty path that comes out by the bridge. Did you know that the adhesive properties of human shit outperform those of any industrial compound, especially when applied to the soles of trainers. (Note to self – must try it for sticking the soles back onto my old trainers, just as long as they won’t be classified as new shoes!) So I spent the rest of the walk as far as the cocktails stop at the Bagha trying to remove the stuff and not paying much attention to where we were. Arriving at the Bagha it was to find that we were being offered some bloody socialite coloured drink to match the lovely pink shirts. Fortunately I was able to buy a beer instead. A few plates of chips materialised and were quickly gronffed, a quick couple of verses of the hash song were sung and then we all headed out for the second part of the run.
Most are well over the river Jordan but Infused and Kabir are still looking!			A civilised drink stop
One more picture of the running pack	The Run (Part 2) From the Bagha it was clear that we were headed for Warm & Fluffy’s roof but, bizarrely, Pubic Hare insisted on taking us up road 27 in the midst of rush hour traffic when the far side of the lake would have been a much more palatable route. Even the fuckwits (re-discovered favourite word, now to appear frequently in trashes) who set the marathon walk 1419 had the decency to take us up the lakeside when possible. So we battled on through fumes and rickshaws, eventually reaching the B point without too much problem but with a serious contribution towards cancer in later life.
Hairy Arsed Hares	The Circle The usual trek up all the stairs to the roof took more out of some hashers than the whole of the walk (not picking on Jumpy Bumpy at all, of course). However, once we got there it was to a pleasant view of the sunset over Mirpur. Lip Service liked it so much that she took all the circle photos in that direction. With the GM and RA in the circle as Hares, the singing of te Hares song was a tad confused – half went with the correct song and the others with the usual down-down song. Who really cares! Not sure what the views on the run were, but I can confirm that the walk was shite in more ways than one. As mentioned above there were no celebrities to be feted so proceeding were handed over immediately to the gentle ministrations of Webfart. First victim was LBH for playing chicken with the traffic, then it was me, my colour scheme having finally convinced Webfart of my sexuality and non-transgression of rules 2, 4, 5, 9, etc. Five-Year-Old-Shit was then called in fro his display of saggy old man-boobs. Two Bottles and Emily (who was standing in for absent Beer Maid, Hairy Crack) had been overheard chatting away in foreign. Since Webfart isn’t prepared to tolerate anyone who can speak a foreign language these two were called in to explain themselves. Judging by the photo, it had all gone reasonably well for Two Bottles. As we all know, the hash relies on the charity of its members to provide the alcohol necessary for successful management of runs. It’s a bit of a daft principle really, given the addiction of most hashers to alcohol. Why would anyone with any sense give the precious stuff away? Webfart had apparently tried to tap up Dunny Gone and Can’t Pull for a couple of cases for this run – Can’t Pull clearly had his dates mixed up and thought that Lent was approaching, so he wouldn’t need any and offered a couple of cases, but miserable tight-arse Dunny Gone was apparently somewhat evasive in his response. Geography lessons followed. Apparently the good old Beeb had published a map of the UK’s former prison camp showing Adelaide where Darwin should be. Darwin is presumably where the species Oz originated. Anyway representatives of former colonial power (Warm & Fluffy), existing extreme right democracy (or has that changed recently) (Bum Deal) and, for some odd reason, Pubic Hare were called in for a down-down. By this stage Webfart was running out of creative ideas, but then he clapped eyes on Sucker. Only Webfart could get inspiration from such a sight. Apparently Webfart had called Sucker the previous day to check on the status of the tee-shirts to be told that the colour was great – maroon. Down-down for the colour-blind gay. On On, Towed
Pretty pink chicken
To be renamed 55-Year-Old Tits
Cunning Linguists
Darkness descends