DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1434			19^th October 2008
WORLD PEACE THROUGH BEER RUN
Hares: Webfart, Lip Service & Warm & Fluffy				Hashers: 20
Virgins: none				New Runner: none
Leavers: Dunny Gone		Returnees: none
Permanent Leaver (not really) - (We should be so lucky!): Webfart
Milestones: Towed – 75 Runs; Blow Pipe – 175 Runs; Warm & Fluffy – 225 Runs & Hash Who? – 350 Runs
	The Run The select few who gathered at the Nordic Club before the off were treated to no free BEER. What is the point of having a World Peace Through BEER Run then not handing out free BEER for all the half-pissed peaceniks who make the effort to turn up? No fucking T-shirts either. Grump, grump, fucking grump! So, thirsty and half-naked we wandered off down the road whilst the runners milled about in their usual headlouse chicken fashion trying to find paper. Where else was it going to go but down Road 50? Once they found it, the runners disappeared and were not seen again until the end of the run. Us walkers took a democratic decision to take the lakeside path, crossed the main road and wandered on down the other side of the lake towards the beautiful new bridge that only has a road leading to it on the west side. Still, that’s one more than a lot of the bridges in Bangladesh. This was where Webfart’s lack of a recce came into play as, when we got to the end of the path we found it blocked off. Fortunately Tall Man came to the rescue and led us through some private gardens and out onto the road. Then it was back up through the streets (with no free BEER stop at LBH’s) and up the lakeside on the north side of Kamal Ataturk to the surprise ‘B’ point. Bound to be warm and Fluffy’s roof as self drives were OK but no, we continued round the top of the lake, after Webfart has spent about five minutes screaming at the superfast FWBs who were determined that they were going to Warm & Fluffy’s. So we carried on around the top end of the lake and turned south again. It couldn’t be Webfart’s old place, could it? The answer was no, but we could easily have gone in as the lakeside path has been built and the garden is open to all comers. With perfect timing the runners caught us just as we got to the virgin ‘B’ point which was the apartment block where Webfart’s Mum lives at the end of Road 55.
	The Circle Now we get to the good bit. Great snacks and lots of free BEER were handed out along with two lovely warm monogrammed cashmere sweaters each (well, sort of). Then we had to endure the circle, although with all the bits and pieces going on it took a while for the GM to call things to order and welcome us all to the World Peace Through BEER Run. Warm & Fluffy didn’t have a great deal to do – just ask Dunny Gone where he was off to (the Mekong Hash – a Thinking Drinking Hash – where he was going to drink lots of BEER and, if he could remember to turn up, trot around the countryside a bit) and hand out all these certificates, including one for herself. Oh, and then wish good riddance to fiancée Webfart who is off to do some eclectic stuff in Oxford. Minty was so happy that he wasted almost a whole BEER giving Webfart a Formula One type shampoo. Bozo took over, having spent all of the previous ten minutes frantically writing down stuff to say. Blow Pipe was the first miscreant, noticeable by his absence on the previous day’s Hash. Where, Bozo hypothesised, had he been. The answer was that he’d been improving Aussie-Korean diplomatic relations by helping a young Korean lady to be medivacced to Bangkok after she had suffered a horrendous golfing accident. Standing innocently by the side of the third tee she had been struck on the jaw by a golf ball propelled in completely the wrong direction by the aforementioned Blow Pipe. He described it later as a chronic slice. Sucker was then called in – he’d only just arrived for the freebies, still in his office clothes. The circle reckoned that he must have been standing in for Infused. Bozo’s final victim was LBH who had been most considerate of the child labour that he employs by not getting the lad to carry the water upstairs. Amnesty and Oxfam, not to mention Save the Children apparently want to present him with a medal. Meanwhile Bozo wanted to know why LBH couldn’t carry the fucking stuff up himself. Now I’m just a simple engineer, not some high flying Oxbridge research PhD person or fat pseudo-intellectual, drama queen Scouse git, so I was a bit puzzled by the “egregious” exchanges between the RA and Webfart that had been going on. The Hash is for simpletons so please can you bastards use words that don’t have so many syllables. Words like ‘BEER’. Apparently egregious means ‘extraordinary in some bad way’ according to online dictionaries but also has an archaic meaning of ‘eminent’ or ‘distinguished’. So why did Webfart, who had now taken over as RA, call in Bozo as his first sinner. Well Bozo had, at the start of the run, apparently been moaning about the lack of freebies but should have to eat his words given the two free sweaters, BEER and food. More whiners were Tall Man and Geli who had apparently been whingeing about getting back in the dark. Since Tall Man had, by this stage, buggered off, look alike Rocks Off was called in to take his down-down. Webfart then took himself to task for getting lost on the walk before hauling in Dunny Gone, who is standing in for Tuneless Cow as Hash Cash, for forgetting to bring the stats. Just for that, Dunny Gone got two BEERS. Finally Hash Who? was called in for an explanation of some of the basic principles of hash gear. Running kit is not supposed to look as if it just came off the shelves of Moss Bros or some fancy New York tailors, so would he kindly ensure that in future he did not turn up with razor sharp creases in his hash shorts. Just as he was handing back to the GM Webfart remembered to remember that Over Exposed had sponsored the BEER. In Over Exposed’s absence, fellow countryperson and dead spit look alike, Lip Service, was called in to accept the down-down on his behalf. Then all we had to do was finish off the free BEER! On On Towed