DHAKA MIXED HASH – RUN NO 1439					22^nd November 2008
Thompson’s End
Hashers Worshipping the Big Silver Beast with Three Eyes in the Sky
Hares: Minty Hole, Pubic Hare, Nazma, Camel Jockey, Deportee, & Lip Service				Hashers: 61		Visitor ???
Virgins: Masud		New Runners: Channel Tunnel, Shitty Titty
Leavers: Warm & Fluffy		Returnees: Janice, Enayet, Bashir
Milestones: Tall Man – 275 Runs; On Zee Beetch – 25 Runs
A bit of a country run	The Run We drove all the way out to Thompson’s End, which is almost in the country, only to be driven all the way back almost to the main road so that we could walk in the parks of beautiful downtown Uttara. Meanwhile the runners buggered off somewhere else and, judging from the photos, had a bit of a country run around the lakes between Thompson’s End and the airport. Having had our little wander through the parks, ably led by Nazma who had to keep telling her fellow walking Hare, Minty, where to go, we did a bit of street walking to emerge at the airport and then headed for the warehouse area – Minty clearly feeling homesick. We were entertained by the local kids running along beside us during the long walk down the road, pausing now and then to admire the security arrangements. It was rumoured that Trek or Treat had once ignored the notices saying “Entrance will be prosecuted” or shot, or something equally appropriate, and tried to lay a trail through one of the many gaping security gates and ended up in jail. Just when we thought the B point was going to be the Customs House we kept on going past it and onto the main road. Could it be a nice walk down the motorway to Airport Tits? No such luck and we backtracked up a side road, ending up at the Uttara Club. What happened to the runners? I’ve no idea. Obviously from the photos they enjoyed some open ground. With four Hares to guide them they couldn’t get lost but it must have been a pretty wimpy run as they were all back well before the walkers arrived.
Homeless escapes
Checking, presumably!
Short Hares	The Circle Once we’d arrived at the club, we were ushered upstairs past a protesting staff member who was probably telling Minty that we couldn’t go in, and into a nice little echoey room that had just been sprayed with bug poison. All sorts of shit about not selling beer was ignored and eventually the GM called things to order. You’ve heard the expression “short hairs”? Well this week it was “Short Hares”. All six of them were called in (note from the pic that Nazma looks to be the tallest!). The only notes that I have against comments on the run are “Lip Service big and slow”. Since she’s small and quite fast, I’m not sure what this relates to – possibly a preference in men. Virgin Masud was then welcomed. He’s from Bangladesh, in the rag trade and was brought along by Deportee. New runners were Shitty Titty and Channel Tunnel. Shitty Titty is form USA and here for a month or so to visit family (she has a brother called Itty Bitty Shitty, so the name possibly originates from some quaint family obsession), and Channel Tunnel (what’s a bloke doing with a definite bumpy name?) is French, has hashed in Malawi, is working here for a couple of months with an NGO and was brought along by On Zee Beetch. Having been described in the official hash sheet as a visitor, freeloader Webfart stepped in as a returnee and a leaver to get two down-downs rather than just one. Fellow returnees were Janice, Enayet and Bashir. Only two of the three turned up and I have to assume that Janice is the missing one, since the photo shows that the only one with tits was Webfart. Enayet has been to BC, Webfart, as we all know, to Oxford and Bashir was a Middle-Sex tourist. He’s been over to UK to collect his PhD, so now that the bugger’s a doctor he can stop asking me how to treat his leg when it hurts. Webfart’s associate leaver was Warm & Fluffy, also heading for Oxford, so there’ll be much coming and going there, then. Notables were On Zee Beetch, who has managed 25 runs and Tall Man who’s done a much more impressive 275. First onto the catwalk were Lip Service, Camel Jockey, Comic Stripper and Towed for sartorial elegance. Not sure why Camel Jockey was in as it looked to me like he’d just got ready for bed and was in his piggy jam-jams. The rest of us were beautifully colour co-ordinated. Over Exposed was next in. Apparently he’d been spotted at the Armed Forces Day celebrations. No harm in that, really – it’s part of his job. However, he was seen touching a former Prime Minister and, according to Webfart, you don’t mess with KZ, so we can expect next week’s run to be Over Exposed’s last. Co-plenipotentiary Foreskin immediately followed – one Ambo drinks – all Ambos drink. Foreskin had been overheard at the start of the run expressing appreciation that Over Exposed’s guards were keeping people back. No problem with that really, but it was apparently the tone of absolute jealousy with which the words were uttered that Webfart had picked up on. Obviously Mama Mia does not look at the webshite or attend any of the hashes since the Glitterball (yes, I know she was at last week’s) otherwise she might have wondered why people were wearing stupid silver hats (just like the one that Webfart was wearing) or sporting huge strap-on tits in the circle, because she apparently asked Webfart if the Hash had done an act at the Ball. She might just as well have asked if there had even been a Glitterball this year! At the mention of Glitterball, Foreskin leaped into the circle and started to make some announcement or other but was told to piss off and wait ‘til the end, whilst Mama Mia got her down-down. Next to be summoned was Back Door Man. He’d scrounged a lift to the Hash with Webfart and had apparently been moaning how busy he was so that he couldn’t find the time to Hare runs. Given the views of a few in that car, this was possibly not the brightest thing to say. However, I would take issue with Webfart for describing Back Door Man as a freeloader. At least he’s paid for every run he’s been on even if he is an idle bastard when it comes to Haring. Webfart, according to the latest hash stats, has not paid for 36% of his not inconsiderable number of runs – a total loss to the hash of Tk14,250. Finally Goose Bumpy and Challenger were called in for wearing shades in the circle. Why? It had been a nice sunny day. The fact that a) we were indoors and b) it was dark outside by then, had been conveniently overlooked by this pair. Proceedings were then handed back to the GM who called Minty Hole into the circle – she referred to him as a “young vibrant man”. Nazma says that’s true, but only until the batteries run out. Anyway it was his birthday, apparently, and their first anniversary so they were given a Hashy Birthday down-down. Finally, Webfart stepped back in to regale us with a tale about Minty wanting a song book made so had agreed to give Webfart soft copy of what he wanted printed. The only problem was that techno-dinosaur Minty offered a floppy disc. Webfart did not divulge whether Minty had a 3½ inch or a 5¼ inch floppy. And they say size matters! And very finally Foreskin was allowed in to make his announcement that DVDs of the Glitterball were now available, I think from him, and that Thursday was the last Aussie Club BBQ of 2008. On On, Towed
Virgin Masud
New Runners
Only one pair of tits between them
Head Under Rock Mama Mia
Hareless Back Door Man
Cool guys (apart from the one in the background
275 and 25 Runners			Sartorial inelegance